Today marks the day I finish reading the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. Personally, it is quite the achievement for me because I tend to get distracted. I finished it because I believe that this book has a powerful message that can change the course of my life. After finishing the book, I stand by that statement and would recommend the book to anyone who feel like they’ve hit a plateau in life.
I won’t be diving into all the aspects that the book has done well in this article. Rather, I would like to focus on the first habit – be proactive. More specifically, I will be sharing the highlights about the habit, what I personally learnt and how I plan to incorporate this habit moving forward. With that, let’s begin!
The Choice is Yours
In the book, author Stephen Covey talks about a Jew named Viktor Frankl who was imprisoned in one of the Nazi death camps. Imagine being tortured constantly, not knowing when will be your last day on this earth. Worst still, having watch your family members die before your eyes, not being able to do anything about it. How would you feel? Fearful? Depressed? Defeated? I would be too, but not Viktor Frankl.
The book suggests that there is a small gap between stimulus and response. Between someone mocking you and the insults that you throw back at them, lies a choice. That choice is what Viktor discovered in his time in the death camp, a choice that his to make regardless of what happens on the outside. By consciously using his power to make that choice, he could decide how all the things that is going on will affect him. Armed with that knowledge alone, he had more freedom than ever before, a freedom to choose that no one can take away from him.
Each and every one of us born under different circumstances, and many (such as myself) placed the blame on the environment, the people around us, the politics, the economy, the lack of opportunities, etc. As we continue to blame, we slowly lose that freedom and power to make that choice and become more reactive towards everything that happens around us.
Personally, I feel the habit “be proactive” is about taking back that power to make a choice. It won’t change the things that happen around us, but it lets us choose how do we move forward with it. Rather than reacting unconsciously, make choices that is beneficial for yourself and your future. Quit playing the victim and take control of your own destiny.
Circle of Concern
Another interesting concept was mentioned in the “be proactive” chapter in the “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, that is the circle of concern. The author basically draws a large circle to represent everything that concerns us, this is our circle of concern which consists of the things that we care about. The author then draws another smaller circle within the circle of concern, that is our circle of influence which are things we have control over, either directly (our behaviour / actions) or indirectly (other people).
Every year, you hear some form of news that could bring down the economy such as COVID, the war between Russia & Ukraine, the insurmountable debt that US currently possesses. The list goes on. Does this concern you? Likely, because if any of it escalates to a point that our nation leaders can’t control, it could very well bring down the entire economy and change our lives altogether. So yes, I would categorise it as part of my circle of concern.
However, is there anything that you can do about these events? The answer to that question for the average person is probably no. The magnitude or scale of those events are too big for any one person to have an impact on. Since we can’t control it, then these events would be categorised as outside of our circle of concern.
The author then urges us to focus our energy elsewhere. Rather than wasting our energy worrying about things that we can’t control, place our focus instead on things that are within our circle of concern and influence. That way, we can use our time effectively to affect change and better our lives.
Incorporating "Be Proactive" into Our Lives
At the end of the chapter, Stephen R. Covey (the author) challenges us to apply the first habit into our daily lives. The first suggestion is to watch the language used. Rather than living reactively like everything is forced onto us, we have to be mindful that we still have the freedom to choose regardless of how bad a situation can be. So, rather than saying “If only” or “I have to” which gives your choice away, choose to say “I can be” or “I want to” instead.
The second suggestion is to think of an event in the future that you may behave reactively. Recreate that experience in your mind, and remember to exercise the freedom to choose. Personally, I picture an event where my team find gaps in the design due to a lack of communication. I’ll usually be furious in these events because it means a lot of rework and waste of time, but thinking it through in advance, my outrage would not be beneficial to me, my team nor my project. Rather, it would be wiser to just accept the mistake, make adjustments to our work and move on.
The third suggestion is to find some problem that is currently frustrating you either at work or in your personal life. Then, utilise the circle of influence method to determine what can you do, then take the steps (however small) towards resolving that problem and making it go away once and for all.
The last suggestion given is to take a 30-day test of proactivity. For the next 30 days, be aware of how you choose to response to situations. As we become more aware of who we are and how we respond to things, then only we take steps to improve ourselves by making better decisions.
Summary
Being proactive is something that I am actively trying to incorporate into my life. By implementing the circle of concern/influence, I’m able to focus on resolving the problems that I have control over rather than worrying over those that I do not have control over. If you think that this habit can improve the quality of your life, then I would suggest for you to read up “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” as well. That’s all I have for today, thanks for reading.