You were tasked to present a well-organised speech on any topic. In that respect, you have certainly outdone yourself by not only meeting the objective of your speech project, but displaying other wonderful qualities throughout your speech that we can all take & learn.
Speaker's Strengths
First off, I would like to start my evaluation by sharing the 3 aspects that you have done exceedingly well. The speech itself flowed like a well lubricated cog, which is will make up the letters that will define your strengths displayed in this speech – C.O.G.
First Strength - Courage
Your speech revolves around your and your father, from childhood to teenage years, all the way till adulthood (or “in the midst of adulting” as you have put it). It was such a heartfelt speech where we as the audience came to know and become fond of your father. It was heart-breaking when we learnt that your dad had passed on only a couple of years ago.
I felt that you were extremely courageous to share your personal stories with a group of audience whom you have never met before, and to share the lessons that you learnt from your experience. I applaud you for the courage shown on stage and for the lessons that I shall not soon forget.
Second Strength - Organised
As mentioned in the start of my evaluation, I found your speech wonderfully structured. You have used a chronological order to present your story and ideas to the audience which I think worked very well. You had a quick opening to your speech before diving in to the body comprised of your childhood, teenage years and adulthood. Finally, you concluded your speech with a take-away message for the audience, which is to cherish the memories that we have with people closest to us.
Third Strength - Gestures
Throughout your speech, you also incorporated multiple hand gestures to bring the entire story to life. I especially adored the part where you told us about your father was very strict growing up, so anytime you did anything wrong, “SMACK”. When you told us the event, your hand moved in a slapping motion which gave us a glimpse of how it must have felt during your childhood and basically brought the story to life.
Points of Improvement
You are young and yet you were able to deliver such a great speech. I believe you have the potential to grow even further to become one of the most accomplished speakers in our country. To assist you to harness that potential, I would like to share a couple of suggestions that you could consider incorporating in your future speeches.
First Suggestion - Utilise Vocal Variety
One technique I that I love using in my own speeches is to utilising vocal variety to give the speech itself more flavour. I believe that a great story has to play with the audiences’ emotions. By raising our voice in unexpected moments, you’ll be able to grab the audiences’ attention throughout your speech. For example, at one point of your story, you mentioned that both you and your dad were angry. If you had increased the volume to indicate your anger, speak as if we are the source of your anger, that would have liven up the speech that much further.
First Suggestion - Move with Purpose
The second technique I learnt in my own journey to improve my speeches is to move with purpose. I noticed that throughout your entire speech, you were located in 1 spot. While that is totally fine, I believe that by utilising the stage to move with your stage would have given your story that much more life to it.
A simple suggestion would be to move according to the chronological order of your speech. For example, start off a little bit to the left when you speak about your childhood. Then, as you grow, slowly move bit by bit to the right of the stage. This small action could help audiences visualise your growth from a little girl to who you are today.
Summary
As I said before, you have the potential to be a great speaker. Already, you have the makings of one with your courage to share such a personal story, the structure of your speech organised in such a wonderful manner and your gestures that liven up the entire story. I hope you would consider using your vocal variety and make your of your stage to bring your speech to the next level. I wish you the best in your future speeches.