In the year of 2012, which is more than a decade now, I decided to join Monash Toastmasters club during my university days in order to overcome my fear of public speaking. It was a very fulfilling experience as I transformed from a stutterer to someone actually capable of becoming an emcee for a small event (although that transformation journey took place over a couple of years).
Several years later, I found myself joining another Toastmasters club (Maxis TMC) and taking up the president position soon after I joined the club. To sum up the experience, I loved the club and its members and we even obtained the president distinguished title for our club that year. But by the end of my term, I realized that I was very much lacking in the leadership department.
That was where my story began…
An Internal Turmoil
That realization eventually created a void within me. I began to fear taking up leadership roles because subconsciously I knew that I would fail miserably. I did not know how to motivate my team to do the work necessary to achieve the goal. Reflecting on it now, I realized it’s due to my fear of rejection. I’m so afraid of rejection that it takes me a considerable amount of time to work up the courage to ask a fellow team member to perform a simple task. Oftentimes, I would much rather do it myself to avoid the possibility of being rejected. That action of mine leads other team members to feel that they do not own the task or feel accountable which eventually leads to me feeling that I’m all alone and a lousy leader.
That feeling affected other areas of my life as well. This was especially at work where leadership qualities is crucial for anyone to climb the corporate ladder. That frustration then affected my personal relationships. Even my friend circles were affected as I began retreating further and further behind the scenes to avoid responsibilities that could potentially further prove how much of a failure I was.
In short, my life was a mess. Although, you wouldn’t be able to see it on the surface, internally I was really struggling to cope with the many aspects of my life. One thing led to another, I eventually left Maxis Toastmasters club in part due to my internal embarrassment, and also to figure out what should I do from here.
A New Found Vision
At the end of 2022, a couple of years after leaving Maxis Toastmasters Club. I read a book written by Simon Sinek, “Start With Why”. I can’t tell you how much I loved the book, it was very well written, and lots of real-world examples included to allow us to understand the point that he was trying to make, a “Why”. This book basically planted a seed in my mind, telling me that I can be a better leader.
It’s funny how we fundamentally know that we can be anyone we choose to be, but we don’t truly believe it until a bulb lights up in our heads triggered by something or someone in our lives. And now, it has happened to me and made me realize that I can indeed be a great leader if I choose to be. If I’m willing to put in the effort and dedicate my life towards becoming a better leader, then maybe one day I can stand beside the great leaders of our time like Nelson Mandela, Abraham Lincoln, and Mahatma Gandhi.
That was how my vision came to be – Be A Great Leader.
What is a Good Leader?
My goal is a far-fetched one, exceedingly so. I have so many questions hovering over my mind, such as “A leader of what cause?”, “How will I know if I have become a great leader?” and most of all, “What constitutes being a good leader?”. That last question really got me thinking about how I even begin my journey toward becoming a leader without really knowing what it means to be one. Maybe that was the reason why I failed in my previous leadership role because I didn’t know what it really meant to be in one.
Hence, I decided that the first step that I should take in my journey would be to read. Reading “Start With Why” by Simon Sinek was the main reason I wanted to embark on this journey to become a better leader. So, it made sense that there are other books out there that can teach me more about the essence of a leader, and help me build my character to fit that of a leader that others would like to follow.
After doing some research online, I found 12 books on leadership that I would like to start reading to first learn what makes a good leader. For those of you who are interested to read them as well, here are the books that are on my list:
- Start with Why by Simon Sinek
- The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John C. Maxwell
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
- How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
- Drive by Daniel H. Pink
- Primal Leadership by Daniel Goleman
- The Five Dysfunction of a Team by Patrick Lencioni
- True North by Bill George & Peter Eagle Sims
- Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink & Leif Babin
- The First 90 Days by Micheal D. Watkins
- The Gift of Imperfection by Brene Brown
- Good to Great by James C. Collins
A Place to Practice
There’s a quote by Napoleon Hill that goes “Knowledge is only potential power.” Reading would only get me so far. I knew that to truly be a good leader, I’ll need hands-on experience, I’ll need to fail countless times as Edison once did, and I’ll need to learn how to pick myself back up and continue moving forward toward my goal. Failing at work though necessary, however, would be less than ideal for my career growth.
I kept thinking of ways to practice whatever I learned from the books I read, and that’s when I remembered the Toastmasters tagline, “Where leaders are made”. The Toastmasters organization does have leadership roles where I can walk the talk, heck that’s where my journey began anyway. And so, I decided to reinstate my Toastmasters membership in hopes that I’ll be able to learn and practice leadership concepts in this club.
On a side note, I’m writing this article now because of a project that I’ll have to complete in my Toastmasters journey. I always wanted to have a blog of my own, and I’m glad that this project gave me an excuse to do so.
Summary
All stories have a beginning, a body, and an ending. This is the start of my story where I’m about to embark on a journey to become one of the best leaders this world has ever seen. Will I achieve my goal? Or would my journey prove too difficult for me? I don’t have the answer for now, we’ll just have to wait and see. Until next time, au revoir.